art and fear · creative practice · criticism · grace · inspiration · on writing

The Truth In My Maybes

“Quitting is fundamentally different from stopping. The latter happens all the time. Quitting happens once. Quitting means not starting again – and art is all about starting again.” -D. Bayles & T. Orland, Art & Fear

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Hello friend!

It has been awhile.

I missed this space in the world wide web where I can share my story.

The truth is, after almost two years of having a blog, I am still having a hard time on what to share, what to write about, how to write it, and everything that has to do with blogging. I even had my share of taking a course on writing/blogging, with a heart. I even read books on writing (some quarter-read to half-read books). And yet, here I am, feeling stuck.

I think the word ‘stuck’ is somewhat overly used in the creative world.

I remember reading online or in a book wherein the artist shared his/her belief that ‘being stuck’ is no true. Not the exact words, but he/she said, “We are never stuck. We only don’t do or show up that is why we are feeling stuck.”

Makes a lot sense to me.

Guilty here.

Maybe, I was not writing as often as I should be to find my writing voice. Maybe, I am too afraid to be and look imperfect to publish something that is not as good as “what I know” good looks like or should be. Maybe because, I do not yet formed a system that will help me write + publish on a daily basis (and what makes me think that I can and should have already have a system before hitting the publish button). Maybe it is because I am the Procrastination Queen.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe…

And in those maybes, I noticed, lies the answers.

If I change all the ‘maybes’ into ‘the truth is,’ then I know I will see where this long hiatus is coming from.

The truth is, I was not writing as often as I should be to find my writing voice. The truth is, I am too afraid to be and look imperfect to publish something that is not as good as “what I know” good looks like or should be. The truth is, I do not yet formed a system that will help me write + publish on a daily basis (and what makes me think that I can and should have already have a system before hitting the publish button). The truth is I am the Procrastination Queen.

Aaaaah, the answers…